Esther Kane, MSW
Registered Clinical Counsellor
Therapy for Women & Families
Serving Courtenay and the Comox Valley, BC
250.338.1800
esther@estherkane.com

Are you a woman who is feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, and not knowing where to turn?

Does everyone else think you’ve got it all together, yet inside you feel totally out of control?

Are you tired of trying to do it all on your own?

Are you challenged by one or more of the following?

depression
anxiety
grief/loss
food/body image problems
low self-esteem
infertility
peri-menopause or menopause
addictions to alcohol and/or drugs
relationship issues
finding your purpose in life
family problems

If any of these apply to you, help is here!

Let’s face it – being a woman can be very difficult at times and it’s not always easy to find the support and guidance you need to navigate the path when you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by everything you’re trying to juggle in your daily life. Life is so uncertain; so many things come our way unexpectedly (divorce, death, birth(s), job changes, moving, illness and more) and we’re not always prepared to deal with them effectively; nor were we taught to when we were growing up.

“When I first came to see you, my relationship with my adult daughter was in serious trouble and I believed that we were going to have to stop communication entirely and go our seperate ways. We had so much anger built up over 15 years and we couldn't communicate without lashing out and hurting each other. We sought your help as a 'last ditch' effort to save our relationship...

During our sessions with you, in a safe and supported way, we learned about the causes which triggered our anger. With your gentle guidance, we were able to understand where the anger was coming from and how we could finally let it go. Today, we are beginning to enjoy a healthy, enjoyable relationship and cannot believe that the mother-daughter relationship each of us had always hoped for is possible and achievable.”

You’re looking for support and guidance, but what you often get from family/friends/colleagues is:

“Cheer up! It’s not that bad” (minimizing your feelings)
“You think that’s rough? Let me tell you about how bad I’ve got/had it…” (discounting your reality and putting themselves before you)
“You’re just too sensitive” (mistaking feeling a certain way as being somehow “wrong” and judging you for it)
“I don’t want to hear about it” (not being able to be there for you)
“That never happened- you made it all up” or “It can’t be that bad”(denial that what happened to you really did happen)
“I’ve got the solution- let me fix it for you” (the inability to just let you be where you need to be emotionally and trying to make it better quickly)

How frustrating! People want to help and usually have good intentions, but they are often too close and lack the training and skills to help and you end up feeling worse than before you told them what was wrong in the first place.

“When I first called you I felt overwhelmed by everything that was going on in my life. I was overeating and feeling depressed. After our first phone conversation, I felt calmer and reassured that everything would be okay. Your work with my family helped us communicate more deeply and support each other in ways we weren’t able to before. I am not depressed anymore and overeat less often. ”

Finally, someone who will listen the way you want to be listened to and help you feel in control and able to find solutions to your problems.

The good news is that being a professional psychotherapist, I won’t do that with you. I have spent many years being trained how to:

listen carefully and empathically with my full attention
accept you for who you are and to not judge you
be with you wherever you need to be emotionally in any moment and not try to change how you feel
support and guide you in finding solutions to your problems and to accept you exactly as you are

This comes as a huge relief to those of you who don’t want to be “fixed”; just heard, validated, and supported during rough times. Also, I bring hope to my clients by reminding them that what they are going through is perfectly normal and that, “this too, shall pass”.

Not only that, but I have extensive training in feminist and family-systems psychotherapy and can use this background to:

give you the tools with which you can better navigate the problem areas in your life
assist you in trying different things that can give you a sense of self-confidence and mastery over things that felt utterly hopeless and may have baffled you in the past
give you “the bigger picture” of where your problems stem from by looking at your family-of-origin and the society you have been influenced by

If you are courageously willing to work hard in therapy and are open to change, you will succeed.

“At our first appointment, I was completely anxiety-ridden and very nervous about being in counselling because I’d never done anything like this before. But I knew I needed outside help because I was at the end of my rope with my daughter. In our time together, I learned some very interesting things about myself that came from my family-of-origin that were no longer serving me. I came to realize that having so much responsibility when I was a kid had made me take on too much of other people’s problems as an adult. When I became aware of this, I began to stop taking on my daughter’s stuff and focused instead on myself and our relationship improved drastically. I began to have more fun in my life which has been great. ”

I have over a decade of experience assisting countless women to become free of:

disordered eating
drug and alcohol dependence
depression
anxiety
self-harming behaviours
abusive relationships
low self-esteem

With my support, clients have learned to feel:

happier
healthier
more confident
more accepting of themselves and others
hopeful
more calm

“In our time together, you encouraged me to be assertive and to stand up for myself when before, I had let people walk all over me. Because you believed in me, I eventually came to believe in myself and what I was capable of. By the end of our time together, I felt a whole lot better about myself and a lot more confident. You gave me the boost I needed to tap into my potential and start my own business which I had been dreaming of for years.”

Being a woman has never been easy and even though you’re strong and capable, it’s not always possible to go it alone.

Believe me, I tried it on my own for too many years and just felt worse. Going to a therapist who understood what a hard time I was going through and still made me feel strong and capable made the difference. I felt supported to find solutions to my problems and was given the tools I needed to feel better about who I was and what I wanted in my life.

It doesn’t have to be this hard. You can feel happy, confident, and in control.

You deserve to have a helping hand when you’re struggling and you’re worth it!

“When I first came to see you, I was suffering from burnout at work. I thought I was just fatigued from job stress, but in our work together, I soon learned that I had some unresolved feelings about an old relationship that were really dragging me down. You let me know that I had permission to feel angry and that all of my feelings are valid. This came as a huge relief because I had been taught that my feelings weren’t acceptable. A huge cloud lifted when I just allowed myself to feel whatever I was feeling and not judge myself for it. The feelings came and went and I felt a lot lighter inside. I began to accept and appreciate myself for who I am and stopped trying to be who I thought everyone else wanted me to be. ”

I understand how hard it can be and can give you the tools you need to get unstuck and back on track.

Unlike a lot of other therapists, I can work with you: individually, with you and your partner, and/or with you and other family members.

To book a session or to set up a FREE 15-minute phone consultation, call me at 250.338.1800 or email me. Evening appointments available.

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Esther's office is located in Courtenay (Comox Valley), BC. She provides therapy and counselling services for the following communities on Vancouver Island: Courtenay, Comox, Campbell River, Cumberland, Nanaimo, Parksville, Qualicum Beach, Tofino, and Port Alberni, British Columbia.