Women's Community Counsellor
Inspiring and Empowering You To Become
Even More Fabulous
September 2007
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In This Issue
Welcome
Fall is
gently drawing us into her crisp, cool, sunny, and magical grace.
Time to get out the heavy sweaters, bake some root vegetables,
and find a good book to curl up with at night…
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Featured Article: Getting Off The
Diet Roller Coaster
I am thrilled to announce that after slogging away through
the hot and sweaty months of summer and wondering if I had (gasp!)
become a “workaholic”, I have produced a Six-Week
Workshop Series for Women called, “Making
Peace with Food and Our Bodies”. The material
I present in the workshops is the culmination of 15+ years of research,
personal experience and professional therapeutic implementation
of what I have found to be the most ‘tried and true’ theories
and methods to help women let go of problematic relationships with
food and body image. By sharing all that I have learned about
recovering from disordered eating, I have witnessed thousands of
women permanently let go of self-destructive patterns and behaviors,
and completely transform their relationships to food, weight, and
body image.
After many requests for making this knowledge public and more
acceptable to the masses, I have finally sat down, sorted through
countless binders and folders, and racked my brain to come up with
the best workshop series/program I could to help as many women
as possible to make peace with food and their bodies. And
I must say, I am very proud of the results and feel confident that
anyone who uses this series/program will be more than satisfied
with the results.
For those of you who live on Vancouver Island, see the “Upcoming
Workshops” section in this e-zine and sign up to attend
all six workshops led by yours truly in Courtenay. I will be
offering this series twice a year- once in the fall and once in
the spring. Spaces will be limited and should fill up fast,
so you should register early or sign yourself up for the following
workshop.
For those of you who live elsewhere, do not despair! I will
also be making the entire series available on a 6-CD program which
will be for sale on my website in the upcoming months. As
well, I plan on making the material into a self-help workbook in
the not-too-distant future for those of you who prefer that format.
Check my website regularly for details!
For this e-zine, I’d like to give you a little taste of
the first workshop, “Why Diets Don’t Work”. In
my work as a woman-centred psychotherapist, I have found that the
habit of dieting is at the root of all women’s dysfunctional
relationships with eating. The fact is that we live in a
society that is obsessed with thinness and surveys have found that one
out of every two women are on a diet and that the majority
of women fear becoming fat more than they fear dying.
Also, diets simply don’t work. Countless research
studies over the years have shown that over the long run, 95% of
dieters regain the weight they lost PLUS MORE. Many women get fatter,
so they diet again, with similar poor results. This is called diet
cycling and can lead to obesity. Dieting usually starts
out harmlessly, but often turns into a full-blown eating disorder.
One of my life’s goals is to put the diet industry out of
business. But
one must start with humble beginnings…
I’d like to leave you with some helpful information about
what “Normal Eating” looks and feels like. I
have found that so many of us have dieted for so long, that we
often lose touch with how to eat like a normal, sane person.
So here are…
Ten Tips To Eating Normally:
1. Eating something at least 3 times
a day
This is the proverbial breakfast, lunch, and dinner routine. Guess
what? It works! Most women trying to lose weight skip a meal
or two a day and this ends up biting them in the butt (or wherever
else you gain weight!). Eating regular meals keeps your blood
sugar stable, which means your moods will be even, and also stops
you from storing fat (which happens when you skip meals and put
your body on “starvation” mode).
2. Eating more than you
feel you need to eat on some occasions (overeating)
Yes, I’m actually saying it’s okay to pig out on Thanksgiving
once a year! Here’s some news- normal eaters occasionally
overindulge with no serious aftereffects (minus some abdominal
discomfort perhaps).
3. Eating less than you need on other occasions (undereating)
Normal eaters also sometimes undereat. This is common when
you’re served a meal of your not-so-favourite foods or if
you’re a vegetarian like me and someone serves you a plate
of JUST VEGETABLES (I’m not making this up!). It’s
okay- you won’t starve to death. There’s always
another meal ahead…
4. Eating more of the foods that you enjoy the taste of, when
you choose to
“What?!” you scream…you got it- you don’t
have to choke down wheatgrass (just the thought of that dark green
smelly liquid makes my stomach do flips) or turnips just because
they’re “good for you”. You’ll feel
more satisfied if you eat more of what you enjoy and less of what
you don’t. And those foods don’t always have
to be unhealthy. I mean, who doesn’t love a good mango?
5. Eating less of the foods you like, as you know you can eat
them in the future
This one indicates that yes, chocolate can be one of your “food
groups”, only in moderation. It’s an amazing
thing how when we stop forbidding ourselves something, the less
sexy and enticing it becomes. Here’s something to
try: Buy a stack of one of the foods you like but forbid yourself
to eat, and keep it around the house and allow yourself a little
bit each day. See what happens…
6. Eating or not eating on occasion because you feel unhappy, “bad” or
tense
One thing I’ve learned is to not eat when I’m really
upset about something and feeling overly emotional. Research
shows that we literally don’t digest food when we eat it
in such a state. Wait for the emotion to pass and then dig
in. You’ll feel a whole lot better.
Equally, allow yourself to splurge on occasion on something decadent
or comforting because you’re in the “dumps”.
I say if it’s good enough for the folks on Friends, it’s
good enough for the rest of us!
7. Eating both “good” and “bad” foods;
i.e., a variety of foods, without feeling guilty
Food is neither “good” nor “bad”- its
just “food”. Unfortunately, we humans go around
judging everything and giving things labels that often interfere
with finding peace in life. Try not to label foods this way
and see what happens. I promise the sky won’t fall
on your head.
8. Eating in a flexible way so that it doesn’t interfere
with your work, study, or social life
If you find yourself declining an invitation to go and see a movie
you really want to see with a friend because it’s “dinner
time”, you may need to loosen up a bit. Eating and
nutrition are important, but so is living a full, exciting, and
peaceful life. One of the major features of an eating disorder
is isolation from friends, family and community. Make sure
that being connected to others comes before your eating plan.
9. Eating sufficient food and a variety of foods, often enough
to prevent a desire to binge-eat
This means no skipping meals or snacks! Also, it helps to
let go of “forbidden” and “acceptable” food
categories in your mind. When you allow yourself to eat
a decent amount at each meal, and choose from a wide variety of
foods to nourish yourself, you’ll decrease the habit of overeating
or “binge eating”.
10. Eating, when out socially, in a similar
manner to the other people in the group
I always say to my clients who want to learn to eat normally, “Study
people who don’t have serious food issues and do what they
do”. I, myself, am always full of wonder and amazement
when I watch people in this category feed their bodies. They
tend to eat regular meals and a wide variety of foods and also
don’t prevent themselves from eating certain foods. They
tend to see food as one of life’s many pleasures and as “fuel” to
keep their bodies going. We can learn a lot from these mysterious
beings!
I hope these tips help you in your quest to getting off the dreaded
Diet Roller Coaster and help you begin to adopt a sane and balanced
approach to eating. Best of luck!
* * *
Want more helpful information like this?
Sign up for my FREE monthly newsletter
(on the left side of the page).
* * *
Upcoming Workshops
Making Peace with Food and Our Bodies:
A Six-Week Workshop Series for Women
- Stop dieting forever and instead, adopt a sane, balanced
approach to food and eating
- Come to accept and love yourself exactly as you are;
no matter what shape or size you happen to be
- Let go of food and weight preoccupation forever so that
you can focus your energies on the exciting and fulfilling things
you want to do instead
Each of these informative, fun, and life-changing workshops will
cover a different aspect of healing from problematic relationships
with food and body image. In the six weeks, you will learn:
- Why Diets Don’t Work
- How to Practise Mindful Eating
- How to improve your mood without food
- The gentle art of meditation and deep relaxation
- How to Change Your Thinking about How You See and Treat
Food and Your Body
- How to Transform Self-Hatred into Self-Love and Appreciation
for the gift that is your body
o register for “Making Peace with Food and Our Bodies:
A Six-Week Workshop Series for Women”, please go to my
website: www.estherkane.com and
click on “workshops” page.
Follow instructions there to sign up.
* * *
About Esther Kane, MSW,
Registered Clinical Counsellor
Esther Kane, MSW, Registered Clinical Counsellor, is in full-time
private practise as a psychotherapist in Courtenay, B.C. Esther
has over a decade of experience counselling women and their loved
ones with a multitude of presenting problems. Her main focus is
helping women to become free of barriers which keep them stuck
so that they can become all that they dream of being.
To book a
session or to set up a free 15-minute phone consultation (only
if you reside in the Comox Valley or surrounding areas), call Esther
at (250) 338-1800.
To learn more about Esther’s services,
please visit her website and read glowing testimonials from many
satisfied clients, www.estherkane.com.
Please note: due to
the high volume of e-mails received, Esther only replies to potential
therapy clients and the media.
* * *
Books by Esther
"WHAT YOUR MAMA CAN'T OR WON'T TEACH YOU: GROWN
WOMEN'S STORIES OF THEIR TEEN YEARS"
”Esther Kane, MSW, RCC, has collected a delightful set of
stories in her book, “What Your Mama Can’t or Won’t Teach
You: Grown Women’s Stories of Their Teen Years.” The
voices of 20 women are interweaved with each other to create a
conversation-like book of women talking about their early struggles.
The issues discussed are diverse and cover so many things that
affected the way they grew into adults. Their insight back into
what shaped them the most is sometimes funny, other times heartbreaking
and often poignant. Esther interviewed these women on topics that
she asked her teen clients they would most like to read about.
What amassed is wisdom from a generation of women who survived
and are willing to share their experiences to the youth of today.”
- Lori Henry, Eating Disorders Writer, Suite101.com
To find out more about the book, go to:
www.guidebooktowomanhood.com
"DUMP THAT CHUMP: A Ten-step plan for ending
bad relationships and attracting the fabulous partner you deserve"
”This is a well written and easy to follow guide for all women that struggle
to find that perfect
match for a lifetime relationship. The information you will gain will help
strengthen your understanding in how very important positive self-talk is:
it will strengthen your ability to not repeat wrong decisions in regards to
relationship choices.
It will also show you how that phrase, "settling",
is not and should not be acceptable to you. You will learn that
settling for someone or something eventually drowns your own ideas
of what you deserve in life as far as a partner is concerned. People
choose to settle because it is safer, more predictable, easier
to control and a lot less challenging than actually striving for
more.
The author uses this very powerful phrase to help you look
at the core of your bad decisions, "What You Expect Is What
You Get".
If you expect nothing then you will get nothing. DTC will also
teach you how to retrain your mind so that you can get to know
yourself through positive self-acceptance. To know and understand
who you are is a definite key in helping you to make the correct
choice in relationships. Lets face it, no one wants to be stuck
in a bad relationship. Womensselfesteem.com highly recommends, ”Dump
That Chump” as a very good source book in opening your eyes
to the many reasons that we end up in failed relationships!”
- Review by Dorothy of Womensselfesteem.com
To find out more about the book, go to:
www.dumpthatchump.com
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