One of the most common questions I hear from clients is this: EVERYONE KEEPS TELLING ME TO “LOVE MYSELF” BUT WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE AND HOW DO I DO IT? I’ll begin with my favourite quote on self-love, which comes from Lucille Ball: Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. I couldn’t agree more with her on this one. However, her quote doesn’t offer any clues about how to love oneself in the first place. I’m not going to pretend that there is some quick and easy answer to this daunting question, but I have put a lot of time, thought, and study into this particular quandry so […]
I’ve been thinking a lot about worry lately- or, to be more precise- I’ve been plagued by worry a lot lately. And as fate would have it, so have many of my clients. Being a Highly Sensitive Person(HSP for short) and working with so many HSP’s in my practice, I am keenly aware that one of the major downsides to having this personality is the tendency to be anxious a lot of the time. I’ve written about conquering anxiety before and if you haven’t read these, feel free to check them out, as they may prove helpful to you: Conquering the Worry Monster Ask Esther: How Can I Conquer Anxiety? Stage fright Fear of Public Speaking I’ve done a lot […]
In my last article, I wrote about using anger as fuel and offered an exercise to help you move your anger up, through, and out so that you can then become proactive about the things you feel strongly and most passionate about. I also touched on the recent rise of ‘Trumpism’ in the USA and how outraged citizens are rising up to fight against this huge threat to democracy. I have been following US therapists closely to get their take on the whole situation and was pleased to find one of my family therapy idols, William Doherty on the forefront and taking serious action. Doherty has started a huge collaboration of psychotherapists in the US against Trumpism called Citizen Therapists […]
I am writing this article because so many of my clients have mentioned recently that they are seeking tools to deal with anger in healthy and constructive ways. With each client, I shared the concept of a ‘rant letter’ I came up with many years ago that has worked miraculously for so many women I’ve worked with. And after sharing it so much lately, I realized I have never officially put it into writing and shared it with you, my dear readers. So I am sharing this with you in the hopes that you will find it a useful and life-changing tool to work with anger when it arises and enjoy some really positive outcomes as a result. One thing […]
A seasoned psychotherapist shares helpful tips on how to stop doing things you don’t want to do because you’re afraid to say “no”.
A therapist offers hope in troubling times and tools for diminishing fear and hatred and replacing it with compassion, peace, and love.
Following the US presidential election before the holidays, I did a lot of musing about narcissists. So did many other therapists by the looks of it. I’ve written before on this topic, but I feel it has an altogether heavier meaning now that a full-fledged narcissist is running our neighbouring country. I find this deeply troubling, and I know I am amongst a large group of people who are rightfully concerned as well. Since I am not a political expert, I shall stick with what I do best- helping people manage and surmount difficulties in their lives. For many of my clients, this includes dealing with narcissists. From where I sit in my therapy chair day after day listening to […]
Okay sisters, I had to do my duty and write this article for you because we’ve just entered into another New Year. And with each New Year we embrace, we often set ourselves up for failure by committing ourselves to a bunch of miserable “resolutions” for the upcoming year. One of these is almost always: LOSE WEIGHT by going on a diet Now I don’t want to imply that losing a bit of extra weight is a bad thing, because often, it’s a good idea and makes us feel better physically and emotionally. It’s just the way we go about losing weight that concerns me. In fact, I wrote an entire book on it: It’s Not About the Food: A […]
In my last blog post entitled “A Positive Change in the Change Room”, I mentioned a colleague of mine with whom I’ve reconnected with since moving to Victoria, BC named Lisa Polinsky, ND who works at Sage Naturopathic Clinic in Victoria. At lunch one day, Lisa and I were discussing the article I wrote on my personal journey with perimenopause, and she started telling me how she treats perimenopause from a naturopathic perspective and I found it fascinating. I instantly thought, “My readers need to hear what this wise woman has to say about this very important topic”. I smiled sweetly at Lisa and asked her if she’d put everything she just said to me in writing so I could […]
As many of you know, I recently moved to what I believe is the greatest city in Canada- Victoria, BC on Vancouver Island. Although it hasn’t exactly been a seamless nor a smooth transition, I know for certain that it was the right move that I absolutely had to make. Two of the best surprises of moving here has been reconnecting with two of my collegial buddies from over a decade ago who took part in a women’s empowerment newsletter I created in Vancouver when I first opened my private practice. One of them is the fabulous Dr. Lisa Polinsky from Sage Naturopathic Clinic. To my great delight, she moved to Victoria and started the second Sage Clinic about five […]