I wanted to write about the importance of timing in making big changes in our lives because it’s a topic that comes up a lot in my work with clients. I am a huge proponent of listening to one’s inner wisdom to find guidance on when we should make big changes in our lives which will have major consequences for ourselves and others. This can apply to any of the following: Letting go of an addiction to food, alcohol, drugs or any other substance of choice Leaving toxic relationships Quitting a job or leaving a career that is unfulfilling and you don’t enjoy Moving- to a new home, neighbourhood, city or country Cutting off contact with abusive people and sticking […]
The power of positive thinking- turning a Vicious Cycle Into a Luscious Cycle
Most of my working day consists of helping clients turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts through the consistent and arduous application of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) tools and techniques. The premise behind CBT is that our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings create behaviour and our behaviour reinforces thoughts. Here’s a quick diagram to make it simple: Most people come to see me because they suffer from anxiety and/or depression which leaves them in a constant state of fear/anger/lowered mood and often helplessness and hopelessness. Many people with other issues (such as addictions, chronic pain, eating disorders to name a few) also struggle with what they call in AA, “stinking thinking”, or what is known in psychological circles as […]
Why You Need ‘Blue Space’: Why being by a body of water is good for you
It’s hard for me to put into words why I like the beach so much. Everything about it is renewing for me, almost like therapy… Beach Therapy – Amy Dykens Over twenty years ago, I made the decision to move from the bustling urban core of downtown Toronto to the peaceful and regenerative smaller city by the ocean- Victoria, BC. I have never once regretted my decision. I was called to this magical oceanside place as a child when I would go with my grandparents every summer to Vancouver Island and we would stay in little cabins by the ocean. I can remember being eight years old sitting on the sand overlooking the beach and saying to my granny: “When […]
The art of relaxation
I am probably not what you would call an ‘expert’ on rest and relaxation. In fact, I am writing this article on a national holiday; a day when most of my peers are sitting outside with their feet up sipping a cold drink and catching some rays. To be perfectly honest, I’ve never been very good at relaxing. But life has a way of making you learn things the hard way and thus, over the past number of years, I have been forced by life circumstances to either learn to rest or drive myself straight into the ground. The way I was headed would have surely led to my early demise had I not gotten wise and learned that sometimes, […]
What we can learn from our elders
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the amazing power of grandparents in women’s development and growth. I cannot tell you how many clients have told me stories of how despite turbulent childhoods; they were kept on a healthy path due to the influence of grandparents. This is especially true in my life.I had an incredibly chaotic and turbulent upbringing and when people ask me how I turned out to be a solid, and mostly healthy woman, my answer is, “my grandparents.” Although I didn’t realize it at the time, I was particularly blessed in this department. I was the first and only grandchild (until the age of 15 when my only cousin was born) of all four of my […]
Five Gratitude Practices That Will Increase Happiness Right Now
I’ve decided to write about gratitude even though I’ve written about it before in this article. Why am I so into gratitude practices? Because there is solid science behind why they are good for our physical and mental health. Here are 7 scientifically proven benefits from a wonderful article in Psychology Today on gratitude. Gratitude opens the door to more relationships. Not only does saying “thank you” constitute good manners, but showing appreciation can help you win new friends, according to a 2014 study published in Emotion. The study found that thanking a new acquaintance makes them more likely to seek an ongoing relationship. Gratitude improves physical health. Grateful people experience fewer aches and pains and report feeling healthier than other people, according to a 2012 study published […]
The Highly Sensitive Personality- are you an HSP?
When most people ask me what I specialize in, I give them a list of certain issues I work with such as eating disorders, anxiety/depression, and relationship issues. But if I was to name it succinctly, I would say that my specialty is helping Highly Sensitive People to love and appreciate their unique and sometimes challenging personalities and nervous systems. The Highly Sensitive Personality I wanted to share with you some valuable information that I give to a lot of my clients when they come to me with labels like, “depressed” and/or “anxious”. What I am about to share with you has made a HUGE difference-for the better-in my own life and for many of my clients who have lived in […]
Food Addiction with Dr. Vera Tarman
I am so delighted to share my collaboration with Dr. Vera Tarman, expert in food addiction and author of what I think is the best book on the subject, Food Junkies. I’d like to start this article with this interview my mother, Marion Kane did with Dr. Tarman a while back which is both entertaining and informative: https://www.marionkane.com/podcast/abstinence-helps-food-addicts/ What follows is an excerpt from chapter two of Food Junkies wherein Dr. Tarman shares her own story of food addiction and outlines her theory on food addiction. I highly recommend you buy this book as there is so much more in it that can help you if you struggle with food addiction. EATING, EATING, EATING: WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH ME? It is […]
Why I Love Millennials
Being born in 1971, I am a typical “Gen X’r”. Here’s a good definition of us. I fit this definition perfectly. My parents divorced when I was 4, I was a latchkey kid splitting my time between my mum’s house and my dad’s (hence why I wore two keys around my little neck), wildly independent, and left to my own devices for the most part. The Muppets provided company when I got home from school while I ate a snack I made in the kitchen. Like many of my generation whose parents were non-conforming hippies, I felt like we experienced what I like to call “free range parenting”: Our parents were not so concerned about our whereabouts and the intricacies […]
How to Get a Good Night’s Sleep
A lot of my clients struggle with sleep and ask me for tips on how they can get a deeper, longer, and rejuvenating night’s rest. I’ve done a lot of research and personal trial and error with sleep, and here are some tricks that work for a lot of people you can try. Esther’s Ten Top Tips on Developing Healthy Sleep Habits Establish a sleep schedule and stick to it Many of us have a hard time doing this because we’re glued to the latest Netflix series, computer game, or even caught up in a challenging crossword puzzle. However, the fact remains that like little children, we all function better with a set routine- and that includes going to […]
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