I thought that a good follow-up article to my last one, Being Mindful with Technology, would be a thought-provoking treatise on why I live in a cellphone-free household. Interestingly, when I did a Google search for “stats on cellphone free households Canada”, all that came up were articles on how the majority of Canadian households have cellphones and not landlines…not exactly what I was after. If I was to throw out a rough guesstimate of how many Canadian households are cellphone-free, I would say 10-15% and that would probably be higher than the actual number. To give you a sense of how bizarre it seems to most people when my husband and I tell them neither of us owns a […]
Being Mindful with Technology
I thought this topic would be a good way to acknowledge World Mental Health Day–October 10- because I feel that our increasing reliance on technology is affecting our mental health in multiple but disturbing ways. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in the middle of a yoga class doing my best to balance on one leg, when someone’s cell phone goes off. Recently, it took four separate rings before the woman attached to it decided to turn it off! Needless to say, I had trouble practicing Loving Kindness during that class- as I’m certain many others in the room did also. Apparently, I’m not the only one who feels this issue needs addressing. A recent issue of […]
Looking to feel grounded? Try Mountain Meditation
As you probably know, I’m really into mindfulness practises and advocate them constantly to my clients. Here are a few articles I’ve written on mindfulness and how it can be applied in our everyday round: Being Mindful with Technology The RAIN Mindfulness Meditation Practise Esther Recommends: A Mindful Path Through Anxiety I’ve been using another mindfulness meditation myself and with clients for a while now and I wanted to share it with you. This one is particularly helpful for those moments in life when you feel ungrounded and chaotic and need to ‘plug in’ to your body and feel strong, centred, and grounded. It comes from one of my favourite mindfulness gurus, Jon Kabat-Zinn who was one of the first […]
Digital Dating 101
I’ll start with a disclaimer: I am one of those rare women who is very happily married and been with the same guy for over twenty years and who is still blissfully in love. I also admit that my heart still flutters when I see my hubby at the end of a workday. I would even go as far as to say I still have a ‘crush’ on this sweet man o’ mine. Sorry if that makes some of you want to be sick- but alas, it is true. However, I’m not going to apologize, for my dear readers, I have certainly kissed my share of frogs and had been in countless miserable love affairs before meeting my beloved. In […]
My Greatest Enemy- Myself: How to Become Your Own Best Friend
Many moons ago, when I was doing my internship as a therapist, something a wise professor of mine said hit home. He was referring to a story about an interview with a 90+-year-old famous therapist, who when asked, “In your 50+ years of being a therapist, how would you sum up what you see as the number one problem people present in sessions?’ His answer: “They’re too darn hard on themselves.” Having been a therapist myself for over two decades now, I’d have to agree wholeheartedly with that assessment. I’d say that no matter what the ‘presenting problem’ may be with a single client, when we dig a little deeper, we inevitably arrive at a poor sense of self and […]
How to Manage and Deal with Anger Constructively
From the vantage point of my therapy chair, I can often sense lots of emotions coming up in the person seated across from me, even if they aren’t necessarily showing what they’re feeling on the surface. When I checked in with a client recently who I sensed was angry, she said, “I AM angry. Really angry! I don’t know what to do with this feeling.” At that moment, the image of a volcano came to me: On the surface, my client was the calm-looking solid volcano, but brimming beneath the volcano’s surface was red-hot lava bubbling and churning and wanting to explode. I see this a lot with women- especially when it comes to identifying and dealing with anger. But […]
Timing is Everything: Changing Negative Habit Patterns for Good
I wanted to write about the importance of timing in making big changes in our lives because it’s a topic that comes up a lot in my work with clients. I am a huge proponent of listening to one’s inner wisdom to find guidance on when we should make big changes in our lives which will have major consequences for ourselves and others. This can apply to any of the following: Letting go of an addiction to food, alcohol, drugs or any other substance of choice Leaving toxic relationships Quitting a job or leaving a career that is unfulfilling and you don’t enjoy Moving- to a new home, neighbourhood, city or country Cutting off contact with abusive people and sticking […]
The power of positive thinking- turning a Vicious Cycle Into a Luscious Cycle
Most of my working day consists of helping clients turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts through the consistent and arduous application of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) tools and techniques. The premise behind CBT is that our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings create behaviour and our behaviour reinforces thoughts. Here’s a quick diagram to make it simple: Most people come to see me because they suffer from anxiety and/or depression which leaves them in a constant state of fear/anger/lowered mood and often helplessness and hopelessness. Many people with other issues (such as addictions, chronic pain, eating disorders to name a few) also struggle with what they call in AA, “stinking thinking”, or what is known in psychological circles as […]
Why You Need ‘Blue Space’: Why being by a body of water is good for you
It’s hard for me to put into words why I like the beach so much. Everything about it is renewing for me, almost like therapy… Beach Therapy – Amy Dykens Over twenty years ago, I made the decision to move from the bustling urban core of downtown Toronto to the peaceful and regenerative smaller city by the ocean- Victoria, BC. I have never once regretted my decision. I was called to this magical oceanside place as a child when I would go with my grandparents every summer to Vancouver Island and we would stay in little cabins by the ocean. I can remember being eight years old sitting on the sand overlooking the beach and saying to my granny: “When […]
The art of relaxation
I am probably not what you would call an ‘expert’ on rest and relaxation. In fact, I am writing this article on a national holiday; a day when most of my peers are sitting outside with their feet up sipping a cold drink and catching some rays. To be perfectly honest, I’ve never been very good at relaxing. But life has a way of making you learn things the hard way and thus, over the past number of years, I have been forced by life circumstances to either learn to rest or drive myself straight into the ground. The way I was headed would have surely led to my early demise had I not gotten wise and learned that sometimes, […]
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