In my work, I constantly promote self-care practises to my clients as part of achieving an excellent state of emotional wellness. I feel that one of the most luxurious forms of self-care is going to a spa and indulging in a facial, massage, or mani/pedi combo. I realise that most spas are very expensive and thus, hard to make a regular part of your self-care regime. This is where a local day spa can fit the bill and not empty out your bank account. My favourite day spa here in Victoria is Heaven the Spa on the Rock owned and run by Elizabeth Parsons. If you want to get a feel for what’s on offer, check out these fun and informative videos with the owner herself.
On my last visit there, after a fabulous organic facial, I asked Elizabeth if she would write something for my readers about the importance of pampering oneself on a regular basis. She did not disappoint! Here are her wise words:
Self-care: The Ultimate ‘Superpower’
I was reminded of the superpower of self-care recently when I overslept one morning. When I woke up, the list of things to do before work seemed endless and the time to do it all was very limited. As I was running around doing three things at once, my partner was sitting with his coffee and casually informed me that he was going for a ‘quick workout’. Internally, I exploded with fury, instantly blaming him for my current state of overwhelm, as if it were his fault I had overslept. I muttered some not-so-pleasant words under my breath and said to him – ‘Okay honey’ even though inside I was fuming!
Then it dawned on me- none of this was his fault. He gave me time to sleep in thinking I needed it, and he has worked out every day we’ve been together so this shouldn’t be news to me. I had set myself up for this mad rush and consequently, was having a stressful morning. I needed to take responsibility for not prioritizing myself.
I decided right then and there to take control of giving myself more time in the mornings in order to take care of myself by not feeling rushed. In short, I needed to be more ‘selfish’. My partner has no problem prioritizing his need to work out, but for some reason, I struggle to do the same. I think that as women, most of us have trouble putting our needs before other people’s.
My Self-Care Plan in Action
I resolved to get up early even on days when I can sleep a little longer, so that this wouldn’t happen again. This is my latest form of self-care, and has really helped me feel stronger and more productive without rushing around. And it really isn’t ‘selfish’ because it benefits me and my partner as well. If I’m happier, he’s happier and vice-versa.
Self-care isn’t always a facial or a massage or bath time with a book- it’s about knowing what you need in order to feel good and make yourself happy. This requires that you take control of making that happen rather than relying on others to do it for you.
It is about setting firm boundaries and sticking to them. It goes without saying that other people are important to you- but first you must acknowledge how important you are to you! Self-care is about filling your own cup with joy on a regular basis by doing things which you find nurturing and rejuvenating. For me, these include long walks, a great podcast, nature, and doing yoga. And of course- a great facial or body scrub is at the top of my list too!!
Sometimes we judge others for their self-care habits instead of respecting that they know what they need and create boundaries that support their well-being. We all know how much we give- often too much. It is time to take a stand for your soul and your spirit. Remember- you are a QUEEN and need to treat yourself as one. If you don’t, your castle will eventually crumble into a pile of unfulfilled expectations, fatigue and resentment. Own your needs, take the reins back and protect yourself and your castle by taking the time to care for yourself.
You might feel that self-care takes away from something else such as time with family or current routines that everyone enjoys. But if you break it down, the world won’t collapse if you miss one dinner because you went out with a friend, or aren’t there for bedtime because you enjoy evening walks. You are here to give the best of you- remember to give to yourself too.