Recently, I was having the proverbial “bad day”-the usual kind we women tend to have- overworked, tired, stressed, no time to myself, and to top it all off- a good dose of PMS. I wanted to be loved, nurtured, and told “It will all be okay honey” by a good friend, but none of my good friends were around to coo these soothing words to me. When I’m in these states of distress, self-pity, and general malaise, I’m not the easiest person to be around- just ask my husband! He’ll be the first to confirm this as fact…
What ended up shifting my mood on this particular day was the following thought: “You want the comfort of a friend so badly right now, but if you were someone else observing you in your current state, would YOU even be friends with you?” This made me fall into fits of laughter, as I am always one to appreciate a good joke, even if it’s a feeble one of my own making. But what made it so funny to me was the fact that my answer was a resounding “no way baby!” And as much as I preach self-love and self-acceptance, at that moment, I realized how utterly unattractive I was being in the moment, and if I had witnessed another woman doing the same and acting all needy, pathetic, and self-pitying, I most likely would recoil from her and want to run to the other end of the earth to get away from her.
And to be kind and unconditionally self-loving, the answer is YES, I most definitely would be friends with myself because overall, I’m a fabulous, entertaining, and giving person- one who has the occasional expected meltdown like any other woman alive. But I realize that just as it is challenging to love someone when their behavior towards you is most unpleasant (think of your toddler in full meltdown mode screaming, “I hate you mommy!” or your teenager telling you that your outfit is way too young for you to be wearing), it’s even harder to love YOURSELF when your own behavior is less than flattering. Still, I think it behooves us to work on loving ourselves even when we can’t stand being who we are- if you’ve never had a moment like that, I sincerely applaud you but at the same time question your honesty- to take a hold of that little girl inside who’s having a rough moment, rock her gently, and remind her that “It will all be okay honey”.
Why? Because we are lovable even at our absolute worst and sometimes, a good friend is hard to find right at the moment you need her…
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