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Esther Kane

MSW, RSW, RCC

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Esther’s Recommended Read: Final Gifts

25 May 2015 by Esther Kane

As you are probably aware, I am obsessed with death and dying lately. I wrote another article about a book that changed the way I look at death and dying forever which I highly recommend you read. While I have been jokingly accused of becoming somewhat “morbid” in recent months, nothing could be further from the truth. As someone with an anxiety disorder, I learned early on that the best way to overcome fear is to blast right through it. So since my late twenties, when I was officially diagnosed with “generalized anxiety”, I have been facing all of my fears, slowly but surely extinguishing one after another. Thus far, I have overcome many fears including: flying, highway driving, travelling alone, and the colour purple (okay, that one’s a joke but I seriously feel sick to my stomach if I look at that colour for too long).

So the next big fear to conquer on my list was, you guessed it- death and the whole dying process. So I set out to find another book to help me learn more about the dying process, both for the person dying and for their loved ones. I chose one that is required reading for my community’s local hospice volunteers. Let me tell you, this little gem is pure magic. It’s called Final Gifts and was written by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley, two hospice nurses who share their experiences of working with the dying for over 20 years.

The entire book could be read in a couple of days and will leave you feeling enlightened, informed about the death process, and also very peaceful about the whole concept of dying. Let’s face it- we could all use some enlightenment around the whole death thing. I mean, we’re all going to die someday and if we live long enough, we will lose some of our beloveds to death as well. What this book helped me with so much is to gain a new understanding of how the dying person communicates to their loved ones. For example, through the stories of the people who died in this book, I learned that the dying communicate their needs, feelings, and even the timing of their death in very unique but often highly decipherable ways. We just need to learn how to interpret the language they use to do this and really listen to what they tell us. This book shows you exactly how to do just that.

Have you read an inspirational book that changed your life for the better?

Do you think my readers would benefit from hearing about it? If so, drop me a line describing the book with its full title and author to: estherATestherkane.com. 

Have a question you want me to answer?

Hey Readers! I need some questions for my “Ask Esther…” column…

Do you have a question for me or a situation that you’re struggling through that I can help you with?

Do you think if I answered your query on this blog that it would be helpful to other readers as well as you?

I will answer one question a month, so keep checking back to see if I’ve chosen yours!

If so, please send the query to me at esther@estherkane.com. 

I Want Your Stories!

Are you a woman with an inspirational, uplifting, and empowering story that you think may appeal to my readers (i.e., other awesome women like yourself)? Do you believe in the power of self-help and women helping women?

Have you struggled with and then found peace/healing/strength from any of the following?

An eating disorder

Drug or alcohol (or fill-in-the-blank) addiction

Trauma/abuse

Unhealthy relationships

Anxiety/depression

Ageing in a youth-obsessed world

Highly Dysfunctional Family-of-origin

Tragic loss

Physical Illness

Mental Illness

Separation/divorce

Or any other serious life challenge?

If so, I’m guessing that my loyal readers would love to hear your story. I’m all about empowering women and I know for a fact that the best way to do that is for us to share with each other and provide support to other women who are struggling with something that we once struggled with too. We as women have so much strength, support and wisdom to share with each other and I would love to give you the opportunity to do just that via my weekly e-zine.

I have the privilege every day to hear women’s incredible stories of deep pain and suffering but also of how they overcame serious adversity and multiple obstacles that were put in their way. I learn and grow so much as a result but due to confidentiality, cannot share those stories with you, my wonderful readers. But you can choose to share those stories with each other via this e-zine if you’d like. I encourage you greatly to do so and I know personally and professionally how healing and empowering it is to do so.

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Esther’s therapy office is located in Victoria, BC. Video and telephone appointments available. To set up a FREE 15-minute phone consultation, contact me online or call 778.265.6190.

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