Being highly sensitive isn’t something you need to fix. But living in a world that often feels too loud, too fast, and too demanding can take a toll.
You may find yourself overwhelmed by other people’s emotions, replaying conversations in your head, struggling to set boundaries, or needing more time than others seem to need to recover from stress. Over time, that can lead to anxiety, exhaustion, self-doubt, and the feeling that there’s something wrong with you.
As a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) with almost 30 years of experience, I specialize in helping highly sensitive people understand and work with their sensitivity rather than fighting against it.
I offer in-person counselling in Victoria and video and telephone counselling for adults throughout British Columbia.
Does Being Highly Sensitive Sometimes Feel Overwhelming?
Many of the highly sensitive people I work with have spent years believing they’re “too sensitive” or need to toughen up. They may appear capable and high-functioning on the outside while privately feeling exhausted by the effort of keeping everything together.
You might recognize yourself in some of these experiences:
- You absorb other people’s moods and emotions.
- You replay conversations and worry about what other people think of you.
- You become overwhelmed by noise, conflict, busy environments, or too many demands at once.
- You struggle to say no without feeling guilty.
- You put other people’s needs ahead of your own.
- You expect a lot of yourself and can be highly self-critical.
- You need significant downtime after stressful or socially demanding situations.
- You struggle with anxiety, burnout, depression, or emotional exhaustion.
- You’ve spent much of your life wondering why things seem to affect you more deeply than they affect other people.
If some of these sound familiar, learning that you’re highly sensitive can be an enormous relief. Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with me?” you can begin asking, “What do I need in order to thrive?”
How Counselling Can Help Highly Sensitive People
Counselling isn’t about making you less sensitive. It’s about helping you understand your nervous system, recognize your needs, and develop ways of living that don’t require you to constantly override yourself.
Together, we may work on:
- Reducing anxiety and emotional overwhelm
- Recognizing and changing patterns of people-pleasing
- Setting healthy boundaries without overwhelming guilt
- Managing perfectionism and self-criticism
- Recovering from burnout and chronic exhaustion
- Learning ways to regulate your nervous system
- Becoming more comfortable with your emotions
- Trusting your own feelings, needs, and instincts
- Developing greater self-compassion
- Creating relationships and a lifestyle that work for you
My approach is gentle, practical, and deeply compassionate. I won’t tell you to “toughen up.” We’ll work toward helping you feel more grounded and confident while keeping the depth, empathy, intuition, and awareness that are part of being highly sensitive.
What is a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)?
The term Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) was popularized by psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You.
Highly sensitive people have deeply responsive nervous systems. We tend to notice subtleties that other people may miss and process our experiences deeply.
I sometimes describe it as “wearing your skin inside out.” We’re a bit like cats with big whiskers reaching far out into the world — our antennae are always “on.”
There can be wonderful strengths that come with high sensitivity. HSPs are often deeply empathetic, intuitive, conscientious, creative, thoughtful, and highly attuned to the people and world around them.
But that same sensitivity can also make life overwhelming.
A busy workplace, conflict with someone you love, a noisy environment, too many demands, or simply spending too long without enough time to recharge can leave you feeling frazzled and exhausted.
For many HSPs, periods of quiet and reduced stimulation aren’t a luxury. They’re an important part of recovering after an intense day and keeping your nervous system from becoming overloaded.
Understanding this can change the way you see yourself. Instead of treating your sensitivity as a weakness you need to overcome, you can learn how to care for yourself in ways that honour how you’re wired.
You May Have Come for Anxiety, Depression or Burnout
Many clients first come to me because they’re struggling with [anxiety or depression], overwhelm, exhaustion, or burnout. They may never have considered themselves highly sensitive.
During our work together, they sometimes begin to recognize how sensitivity has shaped the way they experience stress, relationships, work, conflict, and their own emotions.
That doesn’t mean anxiety or depression is “just” high sensitivity. But understanding your sensitivity can provide an important missing piece of the puzzle.
Once you understand why certain situations affect you so strongly, we can work on ways to reduce overwhelm while also appreciating the strengths that come with experiencing the world deeply.
How Do I Know if I’m a Highly Sensitive Person?
You may be highly sensitive if you tend to:
- Notice subtle changes in your surroundings
- Pick up easily on other people’s moods
- Feel emotions deeply
- Become overwhelmed when too much is happening at once
- Be strongly affected by noise, bright lights, smells, textures, or other sensory stimulation
- Need quiet or solitude to recover after busy or stressful periods
- Have a rich inner life
- Be deeply moved by music, art, nature, or beauty
- Startle easily
- Think deeply before making decisions
- Feel uncomfortable when you’re being watched, rushed, or put under pressure
- Have been described as “sensitive” or “shy,” particularly when you were younger
High sensitivity exists on a spectrum, and there’s no single experience shared by every HSP.
If you’re wondering whether you’re highly sensitive, you can take Elaine Aron’s self-test on the official Highly Sensitive Person website.
You can also explore more about high sensitivity on my YouTube channel, Thriving as a Highly Sensitive Person.
You Don’t Have to Become Less Sensitive
Being highly sensitive can be challenging, particularly when you’ve spent years trying to function as though you’re not sensitive.
The goal of counselling isn’t to turn you into someone you’re not. It’s to help you understand yourself, honour your needs, trust yourself more deeply, and build a life in which your sensitivity can become a strength rather than a constant source of overwhelm.
If you’re a highly sensitive adult in Victoria or elsewhere in British Columbia, you don’t have to keep trying to navigate all of this on your own.