I love the following saying which I’ve heard in meditation circles:
Don’t Just Do Something, Sit There
This tongue-in-cheek makeover of a well-known phrase is a good reminder that we, as a culture, need to rethink our priorities in the rounds of daily life. At 53, I am acutely aware that this should be the mantra I repeat multiple times a day if I am to enjoy a healthy and happy life moving forward. It has been pointed out to me by kind and loving therapists, as well as friends and family in recent years that I need to stop focusing on ‘doing’, and to instead, practise more ‘being’.
To put it mildly, perimenopause was pure hell for me. I didn’t listen to my body which needed me to be mindful-to slow down as it adjusted to changing hormones and the massive transformation involved in becoming a Crone or Wise Elder. I just kept pushing myself beyond capacity like I had always done- a very old and ingrained survival pattern- and learned that this way of living is not sustainable for the second half of life. Up until this point, I lived almost exclusively in my head, and was not connected to my body in a sustainable and life-giving way.
I am doing somatic (body-based) deep healing at the moment, which is completely transforming me. I am so grateful to have found those who have mastered the art of helping people heal from long-buried, ancestral and developmental trauma. I have done yoga for many years, and always loved dancing, as well as meditating. But being able to release so much of the trauma that was living in my body, has completely transformed all of these practices.
I have become much more present and available to myself as well as to others around me. Now when I meditate, I can really feel into my body and my emotions and practise true self-compassion. I am convinced that it all starts with self-compassion. I truly believe in the wisdom of what Tara Brach says:
We have to love ourselves into healing.
In order to do this, I strongly suggest that you start your meditation journey with your focus being on self-compassion. For more information and resources on this, please see these posts:
The Benefits of Daily Meditation
I’m sure you’ve heard that a daily meditation practise is beneficial. Here is a reminder of why you should get out your meditation cushion and sit still from an article entitled: 12 Science-Based Benefits of Meditation:
- Reduces stress
- Controls anxiety
- Promotes emotional health
- Enhances self-awareness
- Lengthens attention span
- Decreases age-related memory loss
- Generates kindness
- Reduces addictive tendencies
- Improves sleep
- Helps control pain
- Decreases blood pressurea
- It’s accessible anywhere
How to Make Meditation a Daily Habit
Here are some great tips on setting up a daily meditation practice from Headspace (I highly recommend their app to help you do this):
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What matters most is consistency. It might be helpful to schedule meditation sessions like an exercise class or appointment. Or we could tack it onto an existing routine, like every time we shower or brush our teeth. If we miss a day or more, it’s okay. We can simply pick up where we left off.
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The best time to meditate is whenever we can. It doesn’t matter when (or where) we meditate, so choose whatever time works best. Meditation could be nice to do first thing in the morning before our day begins, or at night in bed. We could always meditate to reset ourselves before our last work meeting, or after we drop the kids off at school. Anytime we feel overwhelmed, we can take a break and meditate instead of pushing through.
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We only need a few minutes to meditate. A short meditation can be five minutes or less. If we feel like that’s not enough, a 10-minute meditation is great for beginners. Once we have a consistent practice, we can slowly increase our time.
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Be prepared for noisy distractions. We don’t need perfect quiet to meditate. Total silence might be too overwhelming in meditation for beginners. We become extra sensitive to every little sound when things are completely quiet. We can always try earplugs, noise-canceling headphones, white noise machines, or soothing music — like the concentrating-boosting Focus music in the Headspace app.
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Sit and dress however feels good. As long as our back is straight, our neck and shoulders are relaxed, and our chin is slightly tucked, we can sit wherever we feel comfortable for the length of the meditation. Cross or uncross the arms and legs, whatever feels natural. Consider loosening any clothing that’s too restrictive, taking off our shoes, or removing any accessory we tend to fidget with.
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Try guided meditation to learn from experts. Guided meditation is a type of meditation led by a teacher who explains what to do. They cue us when to open and close our eyes, how to breathe, and break down other meditation techniques. Because they’re experts on how the mind works, they offer friendly motivation and practical advice beginners typically need, like tips for using what we learn during meditation in real life.
Here is a wonderful auditory/visual guide to setting up your meditation practise:
Esther’s Meditation Resources
- How To Make Meditating Easier
- The Easiest Way to Start a Meditation Practise: The Insight Timer App
- Box Breathing
- How to Fit Meditation Into Your Daily Life
- Do No Harm and Take No Shit Meditation
- Looking to feel grounded? Try Mountain Meditation
- Yoga Nidra: Meditation Lying Down
Esther’s New Favourite Self-Compassion Meditation:
I Am Always Here: SoulCare Affirmations
Share Your Story:
If you have benefitted from a daily meditation practice, please let us know a) how you made daily meditation a habit, and b) what your favourite meditations are. Please post these in the comments. Readers would appreciate tips and resources not contained within this article. Thanks!