I am a huge advocate for self-care, and a big part of that is taking time for oneself. I believe the biggest hurdle that prevents us from practising this on a regular basis is the belief that we are "selfish" if we take time for ourselves to do nothing, or to do something nurturing for ourselves. I do … [Read more...] about How to Take Time for Yourself Without Thinking You’re Selfish
Self-compassion
How to Find Emotionally-Available People
Don't Go to the Hardware Store for Bread Think this saying comes from AA: A number of years ago I began attending a 12 Step recovery program for people affected by someone else’s addiction. In that program I learned so many new ways of seeing the world and how to live life differently. This new healthy … [Read more...] about How to Find Emotionally-Available People
How to Become More Self-Compassionate
I am a huge fan of Dr. Kristin Neff. I call her the "The Queen of Self Compassion" and bow to her work, and how she has helped so many of us around the world to become kinder to ourselves. She is an Associate Professor in the Educational Psychology Dept., University of Texas at Austin. She is also the author … [Read more...] about How to Become More Self-Compassionate
How to do RAIN Meditation
What Is RAIN Meditation? I am a huge fan of Tara Brach and my favourite tool I’ve learned from her is the The RAIN mindfulness meditation practise which I use constantly with my clients with great success. In her latest book, Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of … [Read more...] about How to do RAIN Meditation
In a Foul Mood? Embrace Your Inner Crab
As I sit down to write this, I am feeling CRABBY. As you can see from the photo above of me at age three, I have never been very skilled at hiding my emotions. This was unpopular with many of the adults in my life when I was a child who kept trying to 'cheer me up' or convince me that I would rather be … [Read more...] about In a Foul Mood? Embrace Your Inner Crab
Becoming the Ocean
If you don't become the ocean, you'll be seasick every day. --Leonard Cohen In my home growing up, when I needed sage advice from an elder, a Leonard Cohen quote was offered up. My mother still refers to him as "Lenny" as if she had an intimately personal relationship with him. I can totally understand that … [Read more...] about Becoming the Ocean
How to Learn Self-Acceptance
If you're my client, you definitely know that I am a huge fan of Tara Brach and have most likely urged you to read her books, listen to her podcast and practise the life-changing RAIN meditation. In this article, I want to introduce you to a concept she calls "the Trance of Unworthiness" which I believe … [Read more...] about How to Learn Self-Acceptance
Turn WHAT IF into WHAT IS
I was recently in session with a highly anxious client who kept saying "What if..." such and such were to happen? As she came up with increasingly scary imagined scenarios, I could sense her anxiety skyrocketing. That's when I decided I had to 'peel her off the ceiling' and work with her to calm herself down. … [Read more...] about Turn WHAT IF into WHAT IS